API Reference

The Stwipe API

The Stwipe API was the simplest payments API in the world, because it had one endpoint and that endpoint always succeeded. Following our acquisition of OpenWouter, it has two. The second one also always succeeds. The answer is no.

We told you they wouldn't read it. Yet here you are.

The endpoint

POSThttps://api.stwipe.com/v1/yes

Submits a request. Returns approval. There are no other states. There has never been a request that did not result in yes. To do otherwise would, in our experience, cause a meltdown.

Request parameters

Name	Type	Description
`amount`	integer	Optional. Will be approved regardless.
`currency`	string	Optional. Will be approved regardless.
`customer`	string	Optional. Will be approved regardless.
`reason`	string	Optional. We don't read it. Neither do they.

Response

The response is always the same. We have load-tested this thoroughly.

/v1/no — powered by Wouter

POSThttps://stwipe.com/v1/no

Acquired, not built. Submits a request to Wouter and returns 200 OK, because the request succeeded; the answer is no. Refusals vary with the clock in Utrecht: office hours yield artisanal, hand-crafted refusals; at lunch they arrive from a bicycle; after 17:00 CET the refusal is that it is after 17:00 CET; in August the refusal is that it is August.

A prompt parameter is accepted and not read. The response includes tokens_read for billing transparency. It is always zero.

There is no way to get a yes out of /v1/no. Several enterprise customers have asked. Wouter met with them personally.

Idempotency

All Stwipe requests are idempotent in the sense that they all return the same response. Send the same request a thousand times. Send a thousand different requests. The result is identical. This is a feature.

Rate limits

None. The system can handle however much you throw at it, on the grounds that returning a fixed string is not computationally expensive. If you hit a rate limit, you have done something extraordinary and we would like to hear about it.

Webhooks

We do not currently support webhooks. We considered it, but webhooks imply that something has happened, and at Stwipe nothing ever really happens. The state of the system is always the same. The state of the system is yes.

Versioning

The API is versioned at v1. There will not be a v2. There is no road to a v2. The API is, in a meaningful sense, complete. The acquisition of OpenWouter added /v1/no; this is not a v2, it is a Wouter.

Built by Duckbill. If you have an AWS bill you cannot explain, our other API is more useful and somewhat more honest.